Miss Niki

I absolutely heart that first crush feeling, that butterflies in the stomach, “do they like me too?” feeling. The awkward behavior when your trying to get a feel of eachother, the sophmoric games played all in the name of harmless flirtation. The giddy feeling when you get a text or call and its from that person :) Ugh! I love it.

So I’ve been working at this “temp” job for a few weeks waiting for my future employer to allow me to begin work. I’ve come to the realization that life after college is bleak and severly overrated. I’m currently working with a room full of idiots and every day I have to force myself to ignore everyone around me and stay calm. Being a person with practically no patience at all this has become quite a trial every day. I wake up in the morning dreading the drive to work, I then get to work and I sit completely still at my desk, praying that no one will come up and try to acknowledge my presence. One girl that I work with came up with the brilliant idea of having a “mixer” on Friday, where everyone is to bring food. I don’t want to participate. I don’t want to get to know these people. Am I being a complete asshole by behaving this way? I think not. Because everyday I have to sit for 8 hrs and review the same material over and over again simply because the fools that I work with refuse to attemp to learn anything at all. They whine and complain about having to read training courses. They constantly beg for breaks. I hate working with them.

This has been a vent session on my part. Anyone that can relate to this realizes that when you hate where you work, it seeps into other areas of your life. I am counting the days for Clifton to call me and let me know when my start date is. Cause this shit right here, is for the birds.

Hello all, I have returned to my tumblr!

Its crazy how little things can make me soooo happy that I feel tears welling in my eyes and I have to shake my head for being such an “emotional, soft” female. I got my final grades back today and to my utter astonishment I earned an A in my auditing class. Now to most people it is something to be happy about for sure, but the excitement that I felt only a select few can really understand. Only the people that have literally dedicated their lives to school since they can remember (yes even before middle school). Those that didn’t go out and get drunk and high during highschool, instead found themselves in their books on a saturday night because getting that grade meant that much more to them. Those that went to college and worked a full time job and balanced school and study, spending sleepless nights re-reading notes and materials because getting a below average score was not an option. Those people that would get a 91 on a paper and argue the 9 points taken off because they had sacrificed for that paper, they had given up time with others to perfect that paper. Those that missed all then end of semester parties because the library was finally open 24/7 which allowed more quiet study time. Its those people that can understand what I experienced when I saw that grade. To believe that I had given my absolute best effort but yet still expected a B, to see that A was nothing short of glorious. To all you that are reading this and thinking that I might be the weirdest person ever, don’t be alarmed, you are quite normal. I am one of the “different” ones. And now that its all over, I sit back and wonder if I did it all right. Were my priorities straight? All my friends are off and married now, I am the “single” friend. I wonder maybe had I not been so driven, maybe I would have met someone and would be in a happy committed relationship. Maybe I would be 20 lbs lighter because I would have spent more time in the gym instead of studying. Maybe, maybe , maybe. But when I looked at that grade, I knew I got it right from the beginning. Becuase there is no better gratification that to know that you accomplished something that others couldn’t, you earned something on your own merit, and no one can ever take that pride away.

ive officially forgotten how to “tumble” lol